Meant to Be?
I was probably around 19 when she said it to me. I can’t remember anything else she said so it obviously had a massive impact on my life and certainly on the size of my jeans.
I remember walking out of the kitchen going across to my sister and she asked what my future held instore.
I replied I was going to be overweight by the time I was 30. She was not surprised the women in our family have child bearing hips.
I filed it away under ironic that a Medium had said I was going to be a Large.
There it was, set in stone or rather my subconscious the minnions had taken the instruction from Gru.
Fat by 30 Fat by 30 Fat by 30.
Just like Jean Luc on Enterprise I made it so number one. It was in the stars all along.
Fast forward a decade or so and there was the question I was often asked by misguided strangers and sometimes friends who I hadn’t seen for a while. “When’s it due?”
I’d reply with I’m not pregnant I’m just fat.
You see I couldn’t get pregnant, no reason and it wasn’t for want of trying but it just never happened. Not even with the help of mind and body altering drugs that wreaked my self-confidence, self-esteem and totally obliterated any common sense I had at the time.
It was just not meant to be, but my body had listened to that medium all those years ago and it had also thought it would be fun to alter my shape and make it look like I was actually pregnant so strangers and friends could congratulate me and ask when it was due. Ha bloody ha.
I wasn’t one to let that put me off I still kept on going with the cakes, chocolate and biscuits. The thirties came and went and I was indeed a Large. Then the forties came and are almost gone and I am still a large. But now there is a shift and the minnons are starting to listen to their new instructions.
The Voices in My Head
Thanks to the 9 minute pod I listen to on an evening I have noticed a shift in my thinking. I am leaving food on my plate. I am not eating a whole packet of biscuits. I am still having one or two but one or two biscuits it’s such an improvement on one or two packs. It feels like a huge victory.
I’m determined not to be a slave to the scales so I only intend on getting weighed maybe once a month or maybe not at all. But I can feel a difference in my clothes and I feel lighter around my stomach area not as rotund, still wobbly and it is still there but I’m not as bloated.
So there I am feeling all smug and amazed at the miracle that is the Slimpod Thinking Slimmer app a short 9 minute chat to your subconscious mind. Seriously I don’t even have to actively listen to it. I tap play on the app when I get in bed at night spooning with Mitch and then drift off to sleep. Sometimes I am aware of the words sometimes I am not. I maybe thinking about what tomorrow could bring or what I forgot to do that day.
The changes and effects are subtle. Now this is a challenge for me as I like to do things quick and fast when it comes to weight loss I like to be drastic and see results. So this is a challenge.
I almost got derailed when hormone central pulled into the station at the weekend. Blimey charley I wanted biscuits and I had them. No way was some bloke who whispered into my ear at night going to make me forgo my birth right as a woman, I wanted chocolate and I was going to have it.
And I did…
I ate some biscuits and I ate chocolate but I didn’t eat bars and bars of chocolate. I didn’t eat packets of biscuits and I didn’t devour the multi- pack of crisps that were in the “treat” cupboard, neither did I have pudding after our meal on Sunday. I did however buy a piece of dime bar cake at the play centre on Saturday but I split it into three. Seriously I split it into three pieces. I cannot believe it just wrote that!
I split a piece, a slither, a triangle of dime bar cake into three!
A few weeks ago that would have been total sacrilege.
That man speaking in my ear at night. He is making a difference.
He is showing the minnions there is another way.
It is happening, slowly but surely and thanks to Sandra Roycroft-Davis the lady behind Slimpod and Thinking Slimmer has explained to me that I have an anchor that is sabotaging my weight loss.
As a coach I get this, I know about limiting beliefs and anchors and all that malarkey and I have my suspicions that the medium and the whole fertility business are lurking in there somewhere.
The lovely Sandra saw my fears about the hormones and biscuits on the Slimpod Facebook page. She took time out of her busy day and simply pointed out that I probably had deep seated issues. Listening to the pods will break down the issues and see them extinguished. I’m on the Slimpod Gold programme, a twelve week course includes the Slimpod and pods for motivation / exercise and relaxation. There is a very supportive and interactive Facebook group which offers support and camaraderie plus a full programme behind the pods including email support and video information. This infrastructure will have a positive impact on these deep seated anchors. Not only that but I will find out more about sabotages and anchors in a few weeks when I enter phase two.
I’m entering phase two soon. I don’t think I have ever entered a second phase in any of my weight loss journeys before, simply because the call of the biscuits was too much to bear and I couldn’t resist. This time I feel confident that I will reach phase two and beyond.
So I’m off to where I have never been before, to continue letting that voice into my head, to continue noticing the differences that make the difference, to allow the smile when I smugly only take one biscuit or when I ask for a glass of water in a bar because that is what I really want to drink not because I am skint. To notice that I am finding running easier thanks to the motivation pod and wow the relaxation pod is just perfect bath time listening.
I eagerly await the changes that I will soon see (not too eagerly you understand there is a life change in progress) The changes in my clothes I’m looking forward to others noticing the change in my shape and my smile.
When they ask are you dieting?
I will categorically say no, not me, no diet.
Because I am not dieting but I am banishing my limiting beliefs around my body and my addiction to sugar, I am finally after two and a half decades getting the minnions under control. The anchors will finally be detached from this ship and thrown overboard.
Slimpod have donated the use of the app and programme to myself but all thoughts and opinions are my own.