What a mixed bag of a day.
Mum has moved into a nursing home that will be able to tend to her medical and emotional needs. We took her yesterday and at first she appeared to settle but later she was distressed and so she has been moved to a different room on a smaller unit where there isn’t as much noise and there are less residents wandering around. Hearing that she is distressed brings up a whole load of questions and I have been a bit wobbly to say the least today.
I was aiming to take Dad to visit today but they said it may be better to wait a day or two. So that is on hold. I feel guilt for feeling relief at not visiting today. This is common for most relatives of those with dementia to feel guilt in various degrees. Guilt for not understanding, guilt for doing things that used to be done together, guilt for not wanting to do things, guilt for not being able to take care, guilt for feeling guilty and so forth.
We have taken Mums chair from home, along with photographs and ornaments. So Mum and Dads home looks a bit strange and will take some getting used to. I think it is hitting Dad now, it all seems a bit real and yet surreal at the same time.
Our boy is on a school trip to Normandy for the week, in my wisdom a few weeks ago I thought it a good idea to let our girl sleep in his room for the week whilst I decorated a Frozen themed bedroom for her. Yesterday Mitch cleared the room out and did bits of filling. So this morning I had a blank canvas, woop de woop. You know those programmes such as sixty minute make over and the like. Well they LIE. It took me much longer than an hour to sand the walls, the door and the skirting, then you have to clean it and get rid of the dust, then and only then can you start with a paint brush. Before I started the decorating I went for a quick coffee and breakfast with mitch, I must admit I didn’t brush my hair before we went out hell I can’t even remember if I brushed my teeth. He said I looked like crazy cat lady. However after I donned my decorating attire of old exercise pants and tatty vest both around a size and a half too small I resembled one of the guests on Jeremy Kyle.
Why when you are only decorating one miniscule room does every other room in the house become affected? Our boudoir has a mattress leaning against the wall, books, artwork and numerous bits and bobs that only a six year old can accumulate. Her big bro’s room previously a teen den, random socks, gaming paraphernalia and such are strewn on any flat surface including the floor. It has been invaded, invaded by a cute, sparkly eclectic six year old. Elsa and Anna have made their presence felt in that room although I am not so sure the smell is suitable for a Disney princess or two.
On with the decorating, but wait I’m an aspiring entrepreneur remember? Well I had almost forgotten so how was I going to incorporate the caviar into today. Rather than my usual decorating companions of Robbie, Bon Jovi and Take That I decided to listen to a TED talk on blogging and then a recording about facing your fears. I missed my sing-along but think Mitch appreciated the silence. Ceiling done, feature wall done. Other walls and gloss work I’m coming to get you. Part of the facing your fears included setting the intention of what you desire in life. A decorator. I desire a decorator when we live in our big beautiful house I want crazy colours, intricate designs and murals on the walls. Universe if you are listening I want a decorator.
Text comes through from our boy. Mum I’ve lost my wallet. A text you want to receive when you son is in another country not. Call and text him back immediately, no response. I’ve got to pick our girl up from school and go to Dad’s. I leave getting in contact with boy to Mitch. When I return home 90minutes later after making Dad’s tea. (If you are not from Yorkshire read dinner for tea). No contact from our boy. So I take to social media, tweet and Face Book for anyone to get him to contact me. Text received found my wallet. Our boy then calls it had fell out of his bag and he had found it. I didn’t get the chance to give him the third degree when five boys in background dissolve into fits of laughter as one if his mates farts and it apparently stinks as much as the cheese factory they had visited this morning. The conversation was going nowhere presume they are enjoying themselves.
So panic over re wallet plus point at least he did not buy me any of said cheese thanks to missing wallet.
Two hours later another text pings in Mum I’ve lost my T-Shirt it got swept away with the tide and we couldn’t go into the water past our knees to get it. I checked out the pictures on twitter and it was his new T-shirt that he was supposed to be wearing for the party night. Oh well that’s my boy. No one drowned and no money lost. Two days down three to go. I don’t think I want to see any more text whilst he is away.
This evening back into entrepreneur mode and I’ve devised a questionnaire for a package I would like to put together and I did feature wall coat number two.
I’ve also cried for no apparent reason maybe it’s guilt, maybe its frustration. maybe I’m missing our boy, but either way better out than in as Shrek would say.
Now I need to sleep to sleep away the emotions and the dust of the day to be ready to do it all again tomorrow. hopefully without as many tears and with an absence of texts from our boy.