Jillian Michaels Broke Me

I can do this

We want our kids to be healthy and active. Our boy is both he is partial to takeaways and the like but he is never still apart from the hours he spends talking to his mates and gaming in his pit. Warning Warning pre- teen boy it is beginning to get That Smell. 
 Our girl loves to dance, and has a regular exercise routine to help her with mobility, core strength and balance. Both have a balanced diet, we give them sweet treats and snacks. Our meals are mostly freshly cooked clean food. They drink lots of water and milk and have a good understanding of health and vitality.

I never had any issues with my health and weight at all throughout my childhood  right through until my early thirties. In fact during my days as a civil servant the office was based next to a gym and my friend and I would attend a class every lunch time, if we didn’t go to the gym we would go swimming up the road. Sometimes we went lunchtime and after work. Sometimes I would even go for the morning class before I went to work. My kit bag really smelt.

If only I had one of those time machine things where you could give the younger version of yourself a message … Mine would be you really are thin, fit and healthy and also fairly easy on the eye. Chill out, oh and forget the perm.

So what happened? I think life happened, got married – stayed fit but ate a load of rubbish if we are totally honest. Worked hard, stayed fit, then we stopped.
We stopped being active but we didn’t stop eating the rubbish.
The weight piled on and I think I used to live on the memory of the stick thin, fit healthy me and thought yep I can get back to that. Then I made a massive mistake. I joined a diet club, and I lost 3 stone YAY me – but the 3 stone was the same stone dropped and then put on again with a bit more for good luck. Now that stone is 4 Oh my word.

I knew it would happen. I recall seeing a medium when I was about 22 and she told me I would struggle with my weight once I hit my 30’s. Here I am well into my 40’s maybe I should go back to one who will tell me I will be a fit, healthy and attractive speaker very very soon.

But I digress. In order to be a good role model, I have embarked on a new fitness regime. Now I used to run, ok then shuffle. I liked it, stress relief, moving meditation and being out in the fresh air. However I am not very good at it. I have been known to be overtaken by people walking whilst I am out for a shuffle. Plus it’s not attractive my face goes red and my lungs seem to lose the ability to distribute oxygen around my body at a level that is required for the exertion. In all honesty the exertion is not that great.

So why put myself through this programme? (For programme read torture.)

A) To change my body shape I am uncomfortable and unhappy with it.
B) I want to finish it and complete the 30 days I have even marked off pretty colours on my calendar as motivation. Note to self pretty colours really do make up for the aching thighs.
C) To be a positive role model to our kids. Our girl has an exercise regime, Our boy does regular football training and is always doing parkour – He calls it that I call it running against hard objects and falling over frequently. So surely I should be doing something to show them being active and healthy is natural.
D) Since mum and dad became ill I want to take as much preventative action as possible. – The sugar reduction is a work in progress.

I woke myself up yesterday at 6.00am, switched on YouTube and found Jillian Michaels 30 day shred. Insert sympathetic head tilt here.
I went to see Jillian at Sheffield City Hall a few months ago to listen to her motivational tour. Believe me If I was going to see her next week I would throw rotten tomatoes, if of course I had the ability to raise my arms above shoulder height.

I’ve got the gear, got the enthusiasm, hoping the ability will kick in.

I managed the whole work out yesterday which I was proud of. Today it wasn’t a 6.00am start, but I did start. I must admit I did dip out with a couple of star jumps and thankfully my feet didn’t have to be raised so high off the ground for the ass kicks, but lets not speak about round three abs.

I have many friends who have posted on social media about the pain of doing said regime… funnily they start at day one and sometimes a week later we still get updates, I have maybe seen a day 15 update I can’t recall a day 30 update. I have therefore decided to refrain from putting daily no pain no gain updates on my Facebook page although yesterday I did post – Jillian Michaels I think you broke me.

I may be broken but I am not beaten. I will finish the 30 days. I am unhappy with my body and how bits wobble and move about without my intention or permission.

I will embrace the current aches and pains, I will celebrate the challenge of standing from the sofa (and the loo), I will happily hold the dustpan and brush for Mitch while he mocks my old lady stance.

I will endeavour to hang out the washing tomorrow without weeping silently into the sheets.